Control: The Outtakes
by VegaTenshi
Summary: Outtakes from my story, Control.  Contains scenes from Jasper and Sage's younger years, as well as Emmett and Rose's take on things.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: The Twilight Universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just playing with stuff in it.**

**Much love to my Schwoogie-Muffin, HammerHips. If it weren't for her, Control and it's outtakes would never have gotten posted.**

***This is an Outtake of my story "Control".**

Outtake 1: First Sight

_**Jasper POV**_

I wasn't looking forward to houseguests. We didn't usually have them. We weren't _allowed_ them. But David was out of town on business and Mom had missed her twenty year reunion in June because _he_ wouldn't let her go.

Somehow Rosalie and I got roped into entertaining, though.

They arrived just after nine in the morning on the hottest day of the summer—in the middle of July—in a beat-up old Ford Taurus. The man, Charlie, was tallish, but still shorter than me, with brown curly hair and brown eyes to match. He was Chief of Police in their Podunk Washington town and the stress of the job was evident in the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes.

His nephew, Emmett, was all burly muscle and brown curls and blue eyes. Rosalie was smitten immediately, I could tell. He was a football player, by the Forks High Trojans T-shirt he was wearing and he was giving Rosalie this _smirk_ like he knew exactly what she was thinking, but it was OK. He was thinking it about her.

And the kid? White blond hair and big green eyes… the shortest twelve year-old I'd ever seen at maybe four foot, five. Her eyes were on her pink high top Chucks and she was clutching a worn copy of _1984_ like her life depended on it.

_Bit young for Orwell, isn't she?_

Mom led them in and introduced us. _Sage_ was the kid's name. What the hell kind of a name is _Sage_? It's a fucking herb!

_Jasper's not much better…_

Stupid inner monologue.

Mom offered to take Charlie down to the fishing hut at the beach and introduce him to Aldo, who'd be happy to set him up with gear for the week. Rosalie and Emmett were already talking plans to catch a movie in town.

"Sage?" Charlie said. "You'll be OK here with Jasper?"

She shot me a careful look out of the corner of her eye and nodded. "Yes, Uncle Charlie." She half-whispered, her eyes on those pink shoes again.

Mom gave her a smile. "Sage, there's a park out beyond the back gate. There are usually some kids around your age hanging out there." She nodded again, but didn't reply.

They unloaded their bags (someone played guitar) and Charlie and Emmett took the guest room since it had two twins. Sage would use the trundle in Rosalie's room.

"Jasper?" Mom called from the top of the stairs. "Rose and Emmett have already gone. Charlie and I are heading out. You watch out for Sage, y'hear?"

"Yes, Mom." I replied, not bothering to look up from my most recently acquired Civil War book.

I heard the front door open and close, the start of a car, and then the back door open and close. I looked up in time to watch Sage crossing the yard to the back gate. Apparently, she'd decided maybe the park would be a good idea.

As much as I wasn't interested in making friends, knowing they'd be gone in a week and I'd never see them again, I couldn't help but watch the tiny girl. So small, so quiet, and though religion was certainly not my thing, I was sure that she must be the smallest Angel that Heaven had in stock.

She let herself out through the gate and broke into a run as she spotted some kids climbing on the jungle gym. She slowed as she got closer, waved, and called out to them, but I couldn't hear what she said, even with the window open. She was shifting and swaying. Making friends wasn't her forte either.

The biggest kid, I recognized him as a mini-asshole named Brady, said something and Sage's face immediately fell. He shoved past her and she hit the sand as the other kids followed. She just sat there in the sand with her eyes on those stupid pink high tops. After about five minutes, she made a swiping motion against her cheeks, stood, and marched with her back ramrod straight, back to the gate and then into the house.

I went back to my book.

A moment later, the screen door slammed again and a pink and black soccer ball collided with the fence. I watched her tear off after it, smiling slightly at the fact that she was giving her own commentary as she bobbed and weaved around the yard before kicking and nailing that same area of fence. I guess that was the goal.

For the next two hours, I half watched her and half read my book, listening to her commentary the entire time as _McCarty_ continued to score. And then all of a sudden I was pulled from the past as she let out a frustrated shriek. I looked up to find her repeatedly kicking the ball as hard as she could at the fence, once, twice, three times… by the seventh, she was exhausted and the ball beaned her shoulder. She plopped down in the grass and began pounding it with her fists and it was then that I realized the tiny Angel wasn't as OK as I'd thought.

"_Hate_ people. _Hate_ Texas. _Hate_ stupid parks and big dumb idiots and Emmett and Dad and _everything_."

_Holy shit…_

She was flipping her shit in the backyard.

And then just as soon as she'd started, she just… stopped. Just stopped. And she sobbed and I felt my brow furrow as she stood and sat on the edge of the deck. I crawled across my bed and looked down at her through the window. She was just sitting there, her hair half-falling out of the ponytail she'd pulled it into, her legs swinging, wiping at her cheeks furiously as another sob escaped her.

"No one likes me." It was whispered. I wasn't even sure she meant to say it out loud, but there it was and she sobbed again as soon as she realized it had been spoken.

Sighing, I crawled off my bed and padded down the stairs and watched from the screen door as she sat there for the next half-hour, whispering self-deprecations to herself. She was too short, not pretty, too athletic, too smart, too dorky… she didn't have any parents.

I couldn't take it anymore. I opened the door and she immediately froze. "Hey, I was gonna make some lunch… you want some?"

_Smooth. Very comforting._

I was a fifteen year-old novice when it came to dealing with girls who weren't related to me. I myself had few friends, none of them female. What the hell was I supposed to do with a tiny crier?

She took a deep breath. "No, thank you." She replied evenly. Her voice didn't betray even a hint of the fact that she'd been crying. She did this often. "But if you need help, I'm happy to." She added as I turned to go back inside. She was used to doing that too… helping… because just _maybe_ someone would like her.

"I got it. Thanks." I headed into the kitchen and pulled out a box of mac'n'cheese and began prep.

_Comfort food._

That's what Rosalie called it. Maybe it would help? Maybe I could get her to eat some? Fifteen minutes and a burned finger later, I stepped outside again and put a bowl with half the mac'n'cheese down next to her before sitting in the lawn chair to the right of the door. Her head cocked to the side as she looked at it, _stared_ at it actually, and then she picked it up.

"Thank you." She whispered, taking a bite. I didn't say anything, just ate my own. When she was done, she stood and turned to me. I stared back, keeping my face impassive. I wasn't sure how she'd feel knowing I heard her fit. "Can I wash your bowl for you?" she held out her tiny hand.

"No, but I'll wash yours." I told her evenly, taking it from her and standing. She stood, frozen, as I headed back inside. She was in exactly the same spot when I returned a few minutes later. "You wanna watch a movie? Or play a video game?" I asked through the screen. "I've got a pretty good selection." She just blinked at me. "Ever played Super Mario?" she shook her head. "Wanna try?" I didn't wait for an answer this time, I simply pushed the door open and she stepped inside, following me quietly up to my room.

As I began setting up the Super Nintendo, she stood in the doorway, her eyes on her shoes again.

_Why pink? Of every color Converse makes shoes in, why pink?_

"Come on." I patted the space next to me on my bed and held a controller out to her. She sat lightly on the edge of the bed and took the controller, running her fingers over the buttons. She'd seen one before, I could tell… but she'd never _played_. Maybe Emmett had one and he wasn't interested in sharing.

I sighed. "OK." I started the game and began guiding her through the buttons and the purpose of the game. After screaming and jumping after the first goomba hit her, she did quite well and she began to loosen up to the point that she began talking.

"I've never seen this game before." She told me honestly.

I smirked. "Maybe it came out before you were born."

Her chin jerked up in indignation. "_I_ am twelve and a _half_. This game isn't _that_ old."

I smiled. "No. No, it isn't." I thought a while as she tried to maintain Luigi's zig-zagging flight pattern across the board. "You like George Orwell?" she glanced at me briefly. "I saw your book."

"He's fascinating. Uncle Charlie says I can't read _Animal Farm_ until I'm in high school though." She sighed as her turn ended. "It's really quite interesting, the way he mixes a totalitarian dictatorship with perceived freedom. It resembles Nazi Germany, in a fashion."

_Say what?_

"I've never read the book." I admitted and she blushed fiercely. "But I have read _Animal Farm_." I offered. "I think you'll like it." She beamed at me.

She contented herself with looking around my room. "You like the Civil War." She commented quietly as her eyes fell to my overflowing bookcase.

"That obvious, huh?" I smiled and she blushed again. She was really kinda cool, this little Angel. "What position do you play?" she quirked an eyebrow at me. "In soccer?"

She blushed scarlet. "Goalie." She mumbled.

"Really? You seemed to be doing pretty good with the running and kicking." I commented and immediately gave myself a mental smack.

_Now she knows I was watching her._

Her eyes flicked to my window as she realized my room overlooked the backyard. "It's because I'm short." She replied quietly. "If the ball goes two feet over my head, the goal doesn't count." Her face fell. "But Coach Granley said I can maybe play Forward next season." She added hopefully.

We continued playing until around six. Emmett and Rose had come back by three, but they ignored us and we ignored them. Mom and Charlie arrived back shortly before four and Mom started dinner. Sage offered to help, but Mom told her to keep on playing. I was kinda glad. I didn't like that she felt she had to help in order for people to like her.

She was quiet all through dinner. I had a feeling that was because of Emmett. He spoke for her. Whenever someone asked her a question, he was ready with an answer. It was annoying.

By nine, I was in my usual spot on the front porch swing with my guitar. Sage was somewhere in the house with everyone else.

"Uncle Charlie? Have you seen Ziggy?"

_What the hell is a ziggy?_

"Check the car, Kiddo. Maybe he fell out of your backpack?"

The screen door opened and Sage gave a small smile as she passed and headed for the rental. She opened the rear door and climbed in and across the seat, disappearing as she searched. She emerged triumphantly a moment later with a brown… _something_… and headed back for the house. She paused, however, on the steps.

"Is…" her eyes were wide. "Is _that_ a… Fender Fifty-CE Resonator?" I nodded. "A _real_ one?" I nodded again, smiling. "Wow." She breathed.

"You play?" I asked her and she nodded. "Well have a sit." She sat next to me on the swing and hugged what was apparently _Ziggy_ to her chest.

It was a stuffed horse, old and tattered. One of its eyes had obviously fallen off and been replaced with a small black button. There were parts of the seam along his back that had obviously been re-stitched shut because the brown velveteen was tighter in areas and the stitching was by hand. Some of his mane had fallen out and Sage had braided it all together in an attempt to preserve what was left. There was a patch of pink cloth over the seam in his chest; obviously the cloth had become too frayed to stitch properly. I could tell Sage had done all the work herself to keep Ziggy in one piece… it was all done with love and care.

"Yes, I know I'm too old for a stuffed animal." She whispered and I realized I'd been staring at it too long. "Go ahead and laugh. Everyone does." Her voice was so small, so _resigned_. Everyone always did.

"Why would I laugh?" I asked. In truth, I really did want to laugh a little. I mean, she was _twelve_… but the more I thought about it, the more I realized Ziggy was probably the only friend this kid had. Her confused eyes met mine and I shrugged. "Ziggy, huh?"

She blushed. "His name's Ziggy Stardust… he scares away the Spiders from Mars." She mumbled. I knew the reference, but I had no clue how _she_ knew the reference. "My dad named him… when I was little. Said that he'd scare away the spiders when he wasn't around."

I resisted the urge to point out that she was _still_ little and simply smiled. "Wow. Pretty cool dad." I had to swallow the lump in my throat. I didn't really remember my dad. "Where is he?" I asked.

She looked away and made that swiping motion again. "He's… dead." She murmured.

"I'm sorry. My dad's dead too." She simply nodded. Unable to think of anything else to say for the moment, I began playing Frankie J's _Daddy's Little Girl_. She smiled. She knew the song. "You wanna play?" I asked, offering her the guitar.

She hesitated and I nodded for her to take it. She put Ziggy on the swing next to her and pulled the guitar across her lap. In that fraction of time, I noticed her pajamas. Navy blue pants and a T-shirt with a soccer ball on the front. They were boys' pajamas. Charlie obviously hadn't a clue how to shop for a girl. I suspected I wouldn't either.

She slipped the strap around her neck, got her fingers situated, and strummed, humming out a perfect A as she did. Her eyes were closed and she looked so peaceful, so relaxed, and she was smiling. She was beautiful.

The next morning, Emmett and Rose were off to the beach. Mom had to go into work. Charlie was off fishing. By the time I climbed out of bed, the house was practically deserted, except for Sage who was curled into a corner of the trundle bed, reading her book.

"Wanna go to the park?" I asked her and her eyes darkened slightly.

"I don't know." She answered quietly.

I shrugged. "Suit yourself, but I'm going to the park." And I did. I dressed and made my way out the back gate, knowing she felt that pull to me, just like I did to her. She'd follow me eventually.

Five minutes later, she did. In jeans and a sunshine yellow T-shirt with a silly cartoon rabbit and "It's Un-bunny-lievable!" on it and a pair of canary yellow Chucks that made her look like she had Tweety Bird feet… except tiny tiny tiny.

She sat on the swing next to me and I grinned. "I knew you couldn't resist."

"There's nothing else to do." She countered.

I smirked, stood, and grabbed the chains of her swing, pushing her gently. "You know what an Underdog is?"

"I don't live under a rock, Jasper."

_Oh, we've got spunk this morning._

"Ever had an Underdog?" she shook her head and I grinned before grabbing the seat swing in earnest and pulling her as far back and as high as I could. "Ready?" I asked.

"Uh… yeah…" her voice was shaky and I could tell heights weren't her thing.

I ran forward and as the swing arched up again, I ducked and ran under her, smiling as I saw her face light up with that simple, stupid trick. I circled around and continued pushing her, taking her higher and lower, slower and faster, tossing in an Underdog every now and again for good measure as her hair flew out behind her, whipping my face and neck.

We went back inside for lunch around noon, and then each grabbed a book and went back to the park, climbing up into the fort to hide from the glaring sun.

"Where's your cousin Bella live?" I asked her as she yawned.

"With us… but she visits her mom in Arizona for the summer and some holidays."

"Do you get along with her?" I was trying to be nonchalant, but I was digging for anything. This kid had to have a friend somewhere.

She shrugged. "Mostly… but she's got her own friends and Emmett doesn't like me hanging around Jessica Stanley. He calls her a…" she thought a moment. "A Sloppy Slut."

I cocked an eyebrow. "Do you even know what a slut is?"

"When I asked Emmett, he told me it's what Jessica was, and when I asked Uncle Charlie, he just shook his head, so I looked it up in the dictionary. No one tells me anything." she spat the last part in irritation.

I shrugged. "Ask me whatever you want. I don't care."

She studied me for a long time over the battered _1984_. Finally, her mouth popped open and she sucked in a breath. "How old are you?"

"Fifteen."

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No."

I could already tell that I _may_ have made a mistake when I said she could ask _anything_.

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

"Yes." I made an internal cringe at the memory.

"Why is the sky blue?"

"Because it reflects the water."

"Why is the water blue?" She was throwing anything she could think of at me. She was testing me. She wanted to prove herself correct that I had a limit, that I'd cave and ditch her.

"Because it reflects the sky."

"Why is the grass green?"

"Chlorophyll and light refraction."

"How come you speak with an accent and Rosalie doesn't?"

"She works hard not to. I don't care if someone doesn't like my accent."

"I like your accent. Why do you like the Civil War?"

"It's an interesting period of history for me." She was genuinely interested in me again.

"What's your favorite book?"

"Don't have one."

"Movie?"

"_Braveheart_."

"Color?"

"Green."

"Song?"

"Don't have one." I laughed. "Are we playing Twenty Questions?"

"Yes. Now shut-up and answer my questions."

I didn't have the heart to point out that I couldn't do both at once. She was just so excited that _someone_ wanted to sit and talk to her and I couldn't bring myself to wipe the smile off her face for even a second.

The next day we walked down to the beach. I tried to coax her into the water, but she refused with a vehement shake of the head.

"You told me you go down to the beach all the time!" I cried.

"Yeah, and I sit _on the beach_! I don't go in the water, are you crazy? There are sharks in there and I read that Great Whites travel all the way from the southern tip of Africa to the Gulf of Mexico in the summer months because of the fish spawning. Do you see me? I'm not even an appetizer to a Great White!"

"Sage, I hardly think a shark's gonna get you in three feet of water." I tried to stifle my laugh.

"It could happen! What about Sand Sharks?"

I sighed and sat down in the sand with her.

The day after that, we spent playing guitar inside because it was raining. I didn't mind though, because I got to play around with her old Gibson Epiphone. It was rosewood, simple. It was her dad's. He taught her to play. It was old and had seen better days. She was saving to buy a newer one, so she could retire the Epiphone, have it serviced one last time, and put it away for safe keeping.

Tuesday, I took her to the music store in town and lifted her up so she could look at all the different guitars. I preferred Fenders and Samick's, but Sage was a Gibson fan all the way.

"This is your guitar." I told her, pointing out one of the brightest guitars in the Acoustic section. The center was buttercup yellow, but it faded to a fiery red the closer it got to the edges, and the pick guard had a beautiful design of gold hummingbirds and red honeysuckles.

"The Gibson Hummingbird? I don't know…" she was examining the price tag. "Well… it's an Epiphone…"

"That's your guitar. I guarantee you, that's the one you'll end up with." I put her on her feet and motioned for the clerk, Tyler, to come over. "Can we see the Hummingbird?" I asked.

"Sure thing." He pulled it off the rack and handed it to Sage.

She sat and strummed it for several minutes, humming softly to herself, her eyes closed, and I grinned as I watched the smile spread across her face. "This is my guitar." She said finally. "I wish I had enough for it now… but I guess I can put one on layaway at the store in Port Angeles."

"Told you." I replied smugly.

Wednesday I was surprised to find Collin, Jenks, and Jared, my only friends, on my doorstep. They wanted to head to the mall to trawl for girls.

"Come on, Jasper. You haven't been out with us in _weeks_." Collin whined, and then his eyes fixed on something behind me. "Who's the kid?"

I turned to see Sage pouring herself a glass of milk. "That's Sage." I said.

Jenks leaned around me and stared at her. "Jay, you're not like… _doing_ _stuff _with her are you?"

"She's _twelve_." I hissed. "You're fucking sick!" I shoved him backward. "No, she's here visiting and I'm hanging out with her."

"You're babysitting." Jared replied lamely.

"No. I'm hanging out with her."

"Great, so you can ditch her for a day."

I hated the way he said that, and the fact that he'd even said it at all. I would not _ditch_ her.

"It's OK, Jasper. You can go, I don't mind. I can read." Sage piped up from the kitchen. When I looked over my shoulder again, she wasn't in view, so she must've been hiding as she said it.

"Thanks, Sage, but we already have plans today." I called, turning back to the guys. "Sorry guys. See you next week." And I closed the door.

An hour and a half later, I was attempting to coax her into a small riding ring at Marker-Miller Ranch. She was frozen in place, her black Chucks refusing to move as her head shook from side to side and her eyes were wide with fear.

"He's not gonna hurt you." I wheedled. "Come on, I promise you won't get hurt."

"What if he throws me?"

"I won't let him." I held out my hand and she sighed and took it hesitantly. I led her into the ring and boosted her into the saddle of the old Paint horse named Bowie. I'd picked him because it reminded me of Ziggy. "Good, now take the reigns." I prompted, adjusting the stirrups for her.

An hour later, she was riding like a pro and I'd saddled my own horse to take her on a trail ride.

Thursday found us back at the park, reading because Emmett and Rosalie were sucking face on the couch. The air was heavy today, for some reason, and we realized why as soon as lightning split the sky. Before we could so much as react, the clouds opened up and began dumping rain. Sage shrieked and scrambled up into the fort with me right behind her.

"It'll let up in a minute." I told her, pushing my sopping wet hair off my forehead.

"Yeah… and then we can go back to the h-h-house and maybe h-h-have some t-tea." She shivered.

I pulled off my black Godsmack hoodie and handed it to her. "Here. It's still kinda dry."

She smiled and pulled it on over her head, flipping the hood up over her hair and sinking down into it, pulling it over her knees. "Thank you."

I smiled. "You're welcome."

"Jasper, do you have a nickname?"

"No."

"I don't either." She thought a minute. "Can I give you a nickname?"

"Sure." I smirked, wondering what she'd call me, but she was silent for a long time.

She sighed. "I think I'll call you _Jazz_."

"Jazz, huh?" she nodded. "You know I hate Jazz music, right?"

"Then you're just lame." She told me, cracking a smile. "But I'm still gonna call you Jazz." I grinned.

That night, I went to bed fairly early because I wanted to be up to see Sage off, but I woke up around three and laid there for a while. Finally, I got up, deciding I needed a snack and padded down the hall, stopping abruptly when I chanced a glance into Rose's room.

Rose was nowhere to be found, but neither was the trundle and there was a lump in the corner.

"Sage?" I asked and the lump moved. "Darlin', what are you doing on the floor?" I asked.

She sat up, looking sheepish. "The trundle's stuck."

"Did you tell Rose?"

She nodded. "She said she'd come in to fix it."

"How long ago was that?" I asked, fearing the answer.

Sage shrugged. "Just after eleven."

_Fucking hell._

"I'll be back." I sighed. Instead of heading to the living room to bitch at Rose, which I knew would do no good, I simply headed back to my own room and yanked the trundle out from under my own bed. I spaced it a good ways away from my bed, in case my mom or Charlie or Emmett found us. I didn't want them thinking something had happened. I pulled out the spare sheets from the linen closet and made the bed up before placing one of my quilts on it. Sage was curled up again when I came back, but I just knelt down and scooped her up.

"Jazz, what are you doing?" she mumbled sleepily against my shoulder.

"There's a trundle in my room too. You shouldn't sleep on the floor. It's no good on your back." I laid her down on the spare bed and covered her up with the quilt before handing her one of my pillows. "Do you like the fan on?"

"I don't know… Rose doesn't use hers."

"Well, I'll turn it on, and if you don't like it, we can turn it off." She nodded her agreement, already half-asleep. "Goodnight, Sage."

"Night, Jasper." She mumbled.

We hugged goodbye the next day. I'd started the visit out determined not to care, thinking I'd never see these people again, but now I wasn't so sure. I had hope that maybe I'd see Sage again. I was going to miss her. She'd managed to wrap herself around my life so easily, and she hadn't even meant to.

A week later an envelope arrived for me. I never got mail.

I had to smile at the return address and then I opened it and pulled out the purple stationery. It was only a few lines:

_Jazz,_

_We made it home safe. Thank you for spending time with me. You didn't have to, but it means so much to me._

_Hugs and Love,_

_Sage_

_P.S. I have your hoodie and I'm not giving it back unless you write me back._

Somehow, I didn't think that'd be a problem.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: The Twilight Universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just own Sage and the plot.**_

_**Love always to HammerHips, my Schwoogie-Muffin. I flove her.**_

Outtake 2: After All The Long Years

_**Sage POV**_

_Sage,_

_I finally did it. I enlisted. Maybe you've already heard, since I'm sure Rosalie had the fit heard 'round the world. I hope you're not upset with me. I mean, I know we've been discussing the possibility and all. I've thought this through. Anything to get away from David and all, but I really believe this is the right path for me. You understand that, right?_

_How are things with Emmett? Have they calmed down? Did he actually _think_ about it or did he fight Charlie every step of the way? Come on, don't leave me in suspense!_

_When are you going to send me another picture of you? You haven't sent one in months. I know you hate the camera and you think you don't photograph well, but I like seeing you, even if I can't actually _see_ you._

_Anyway, I have to go. David's home and I need to start dinner before we end up in a fight._

_Take care of yourself, Sweetheart._

_Love,_

_Your Jazz_

_Jazz,_

_Of course I'm not upset with you! How could you think that? We've been talking about it for so long, I figured you'd made up your mind. If you believe it's the right life path, I'm not going to argue with you. Maybe it'll do you some good to get out of Texas altogether. _

_Things have calmed down. Rosalie had a talk with Emmett and I now (finally) have my ears pierced. It didn't hurt as bad as Rose said it would (thankfully). Emmett's not even sure why I wanted to have it done. Rose bought me some really big dangly earrings but I'm happy with the plain old silver piercing studs. They're nothing special, just metal balls, but they're a freaking accomplishment to me. Ha!_

_I really hate that you're so obsessed with having pictures of me. I can't exactly take pictures of myself, you know… and you haven't sent me a picture of you in over a year, so maybe I'll send you one when you send me one… OK, I can't even bluff on paper. You know there's a picture in with this letter. Stop smiling like a grade-A jackass. We all know you kick ass._

_Let me know when you have more information about your enlistment, Jazz. You know I worry._

_I have to get going now. Emmett and Rosalie just walked in and I need to beg a ride to Port Angeles for guitar strings._

_Hugs and Love._

_Always,_

_Sage_

_Sage,_

_Now why on earth would you say I was smiling like a grade-A jackass? I'm hurt. Not really. But only because I know I _was_ smiling like one. Ha!_

_You're beautiful in this picture, Sage. I know you don't believe that, and I can tell Emmett was probably the one with his finger on the shutter because it's crooked, but you're still beautiful and I hope you'll start sending me more since I'll be slowing down on the letters once I get to Basic._

_Congratulations on finally winning the ear piercing battle. Just wait until you're eighteen and you can do what you want without asking… assuming Emmett actually backs off when you turn eighteen. Wow… Hmm… OK, sorry, I shouldn't give you false hope like that. Yes, I know you're flipping me off right now._

_As for my enlistment, I'm supposed to report to Fort Benning for Basic Training on September 30. That's Georgia, in case you didn't know. I'm thinking about going for Intelligence. I'm not too keen on the idea of seeing actual bloodshed, and that seems to be the safest route._

_Has Rosalie calmed down any yet? I was going to call her this weekend, but after the bitch-out she gave me when I told her I'd enlisted, I'm not sure I'm ready for round two. _

_I have to get going now. I'm headed out to watch some live music with the guys. Sort of my last hurrah before they all head off to college next week._

_Take care of yourself._

_Love,_

_Your Jazz_

_Jasper,_

_No, I don't think she's calmed down any. She's definitely being more civil about it though. I've never heard her swear so much. It was kinda scary. But her attitude's under control, she's just still really pissed off. I'm not even sure she's pissed off at YOU, I think she's just really worried. You can understand that, can't you? I'm worried too. I just know what it's like to always have someone coming at you with "Don't do that", so it's not like I'm gonna judge._

_As for the pictures, of course I'll try to send more. I just can't guarantee it, but I do promise to try. And you always say I look beautiful. You should be careful. Girls get jealous over that kind of thing. Don't want to scare off any potential girlfriends._

_How long is Basic Training? I don't really know anything about the military, so you'll have to break it down for me._

_Emmett's upset that Uncle Charlie is letting me attend a week-long overnight camp in Portland, but most of the riding students the Berrymans teach are going. Emmett just doesn't want me around a bunch of guys. But Uncle Charlie says that I've earned it and so I guess Emmett just gets to be pissed (I'm giggling. Can you tell?)._

_Well, I've gotta go, Jazz. I've got some last minute stuff to buy. Don't worry, I'll write you double letters to make up for the week I'm gone. Take care._

_Hugs and Love._

_Always,_

_Sage_

_Sage,_

_I understand her being worried. I just wish she could worry without calling me an idiot. I swear, sometimes David rubbed off on her. And not in a good way. And that's what I love about you. You don't judge. You make it so easy, sometimes I wonder if you're real._

_And how about you let ME worry about jealous girls. There aren't a lot of prospects to be worried about anyhow._

_Basic is 6 weeks. From there, I'll go to Tech School for specialization. That's another four months. Then I'll move on to wherever the Army wants to put me. If I go Intelligence though, chances are I'll be at Fort Belvoir in Alexandria, VA. That's where INSCOM (Intelligence and Security Command) is located._

_And Charlie's right, you earned that spot and I'm proud of you. Don't let Emmett ruin it. You better have fun and don't worry about him being pissed off. You do still owe me double letters, but that's just because I love getting letters. Don't take any crap from the boys either. I mean it, I'll come up there and kick some ass if I have to._

_I have to go, Sage. I'm heading out to put some stuff in storage. Take care of yourself. I miss you._

_Love,_

_Your Jazz_

_Jas,_

_Rose is definitely trying to get a handle on her anger and worry. I think she's feeling really bad for the mean things she said to you. She mentioned calling you this weekend before you leave for Basic. Are you scared? I would be. But you know me. Everything scares me._

_As for me being real, I just tried to walk through a wall, and I'm fairly certain I am, so no worries on that front. You've always been such a good friend to me, how can I not do my best to make my friendship easy on you? I know I'm not exactly easy to deal with and a lot of the time I'm a basket case. You're the only one who's ever able to calm me down. _

_I don't plan on letting Emmett ruin camp for me. I intend to have as much fun as humanly possible. I'm surprised you didn't get cocky there and tell me that it's all because YOU put me on that horse three years ago. We all know it's true, it's OK, you can say it. I never would've ever considered riding if it hadn't been for you._

_Emmet and Rose just pulled up. I'll let her know you'd like to talk to her before you leave. I know she misses you. I miss you too, Jazz. Be safe._

_Hugs and Love._

_Always,_

_Sage_

_Sage,_

_I graduate from Basic on November 12. Do you think you'd be able to come? We're allowed to have family and friends come, but I know Rose would only come to yell at me some more. I'd rather have someone there supporting me. _

_I know it's short notice, it's only three weeks away, but they've only just given us a definite date and I really want you to be here. I know you probably can't, it's the middle of the semester and you've got homework and projects coming out of your ears and papers to edit, but I thought I'd ask. If for no other reason than for you to know that I wish you could be here to see me graduate from Basic Training._

_I can't really add much more right now. I'm due for lights out soon. I miss you, Sweetheart. Take care of yourself._

_Love,_

_Your Jazz_

"Emmett," I asked timidly. Emmett glanced up to the rearview mirror to look at me. "Jasper's graduating from Basic Training on November twelfth." I watched Rosalie tense in the front seat, but she didn't make a peep. "He… he was wondering if maybe I could go… to see him graduate."

"Why do you need to go see him graduate?" he asked curiously. Emmett didn't get the whole military thing. I didn't really either, but with Jasper providing an abridged version of _Army For Dummies_ with practically every letter, I was slowly learning.

I shrugged. "It's a support thing… and to see him off, since he won't have leave for a long while. He'll go straight to Tech School and then on to wherever they're stationing him." I took a deep breath. "I'd really like to go."

"I'll think about it."

Three days later, I still didn't have an answer and I asked Uncle Charlie to intercede. The only reason I'd bothered to ask Emmett at all was because he'd have to take me (no way he'd let me fly alone anyhow), because Uncle Charlie couldn't get the time off work.

"Emmett, it's just two days. Her grades are excellent."

"Please, Emmett?" I begged. "Please? _Please_?"

"What if this sets her back?" he challenged. "She's been doing really well with Doctor Caius and the last thing I need is for her to get all depressed again because her friend is going away.

_Fuck you._

"Jasper's _always_ been away!" I cried. "I've spent one whole week with him in the past three _years_. Come on, Emmett! I'm taking my medication, I'm not fighting in therapy, and I brought my grades back up! I've got an _A_ in Calculus again, come on! _Please_! I really wanna be there for Jasper! Rosalie doesn't even wanna go, but _I_ do and he wants me there!"

My brother stared at me for the longest time. We were all seated at the kitchen table and I had my elbows resting on the table, my hands clasped in the international sign for _Please Let Me Do This One Thing PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE!_

Eventually, he sighed. "You've got therapy scheduled for both those days you know."

"I'll get Doctor Caius to write a note. He thought it was a good idea. He was the one who encouraged me to ask!"

"You'll need to get all your homework ahead of time so you can work on it on the plane."

"I will."

"And you'll need to pack your pills. If you miss one pill, we're gonna have issues so big Korn will think they're having a reunion tour." I internally rolled my eyes at that one.

_Lame._

And I didn't mean that about the pills. I wanted to be better, I wasn't going to screw shit up. But Korn? Seriously?

"Of course."

Doctor Caius had me on a new antidepressant. I'd only been on it a few weeks, but I was feeling better, less foggy, more like myself. Only time would tell if it would work or if I'd feel stifled by them. It always took a month or two to truly adjust to a new pill or dose.

"I mean it."

"I know."

He sighed. "Rose? You don't mind?"

Rosalie shook her head. "I think it'd do Jasper some good to see Sage again, and maybe vice versa. They miss each other." She gave me a tentative smile and I could tell she was still trying to come to grips with her baby brother joining the military during such a dangerous time.

"Alright. I'll book us the flight." He groaned.

I whooped so loud it startled everyone and then I was up and running around the table to hug Emmett tightly around the neck. "Thank you, Emmy! Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!" I cried.

Two weeks later, Emmett and I got off a plane in Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson Airport, collected our bags and rental car, and headed for our motel just outside of Fort Benning.

It was a _horrendous_ flight. Aside from having to do homework the entire time, Emmett kept asking questions over my shoulder and I was finally forced to tell him that if he didn't remember High School English, I couldn't help him. After that, he stole my iPod because apparently music is distracting… It didn't matter that I'd been listening to Tchaikovsky.

Once we got to the motel, we showered and changed clothes. I'd managed to convince Emmett to wear khaki's and a nice blue shirt. I wasn't sure how people dressed for Basic Graduation, but I didn't want us to be complete scruff-muffins.

I wore a pale green blouse and a khaki skirt that went to my knees, knowing Emmett would throw a fit at any of my other skirts because of the length… or rather, _lack_ of length… and my black Chucks.

"Sage, calm down." Emmett sighed as he watched me pace the floor in our room. "You're gonna give me a complex."

"I'm just anxious." I told him.

"I realize that, and you're not helping me to think that bringing you was a _good_ decision." I froze. "Thank you." I sat down at the small desk and began tapping my thumb. "Sage!"

"I can't help it!" I cried. "I always do this sort of thing! I did this sort of thing when I was four, Emmett, not much has changed in eleven years!"

"Some things have." He grumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, but he simply shook his head.

He sighed. "Look, I know you're excited to see Jasper, OK? I get that. But I also don't want you slipping, and to me, that's more important than you getting to see your friend."

"I'm not gonna slip!" I cried indignantly. "Even Doctor Caius thought seeing Jasper would be a good thing. Even though I haven't seen him in years, he's still a big part of my life." Emmett rolled his eyes at that. "What?"

He shrugged. "I just don't understand how you could get so _attached_ to someone through the _mail_."

"It's not just the mail! It's not like I wasn't in Galveston that week too, you know." I was still kind of pissed and hurt that Emmett had all but abandoned me that week and Jasper was all but forced to spend time with me, even though I knew deep down he'd done so because he wanted to.

Emmett seemed to pick up on that fact and cringed. "I know, Sage, I'm just saying—"

"What? Just saying what? That you and Rosalie are OK for starting out with just a week together followed up by a year of e-mail and phone calls, but I can't have a friend who I got the same start with and chose to write letters to? Jasper and I correspond more in six months than you and Rose did all that time you were apart. I don't appreciate you judging me."

His eyes were wide with panic at this point as he realized he'd lost control of the conversation. "That's _not_ what I'm saying, Sage. Not at all." He held up his hands in surrender.

"Then what _are_ you saying?"

He sighed. "I don't know… I worry about you. You know that."

"I do." I sighed, rolling my eyes. I checked my watch. "Come on, we need to get going. It's a half-hour until the ceremony starts."

We drove to Fort Benning in silence and when Emmett pulled up to the gate and presented the guard with our ID's, I was almost afraid he wouldn't let us in.

"You're not on the list."

"I didn't have time to tell Private Whitlock we'd be coming." I practically pleaded.

He sighed. "What's his name?"

"Private Jasper Whitlock." He nodded. "Go on in. Go up to the stop sign, hang a left and take it to the end. You'll see where to go." We thanked him and Emmett drove in as soon as the barrier went up.

We took seats in the large auditorium and waited with everyone else, the general din almost mind-numbing. And then the doors at the rear were thrown open and a procession of soldiers dressed in their standard issue BDU's marched in, eyes forward. Jasper was near the end, but his eyes never strayed and so he didn't see me. He looked very handsome in uniform, even though I wasn't fond of the crew cut, and regardless, seeing him again made me smile.

"We'll catch him after." Emmett assured me. "Maybe we can take him to dinner or something."

I sighed. "Promise?"

"I didn't bring you all the way out here for you not to be able to see him, Sage." He murmured as the ceremony began.

When it was over and the Commanding Officer yelled, "Dis_missed_!" everyone rose at once and I knew we were never going to find Jasper in the crowd.

"Let's go outside and we'll wait for him." Emmett said, putting a hand on my shoulder and guiding me outside.

Twenty minutes later, Jasper traipsed out of the auditorium, straightening his cover on his head and looking as though he was bound for the barracks.

"Jazz!" I yelled, standing from the bench Emmett and I had taken up residence on.

He froze for a moment before turning, eyes wide, and then he broke into a smile. "Sage!"

I ran to him and threw my arms around his neck as he lifted me and swung me around, burying his face in my hair. I tried to kiss his cheek, but accidentally pecked him at the corner of his mouth, though he didn't seem to mind.

"What are you doing here?" he asked me, burying his face in my hair again and kissing my jaw.

"You invited me, remember?"

"I didn't think you'd be able to." He replied, setting me on my feet.

I smiled. "But you wanted me to, so of course I had to try." He pulled me into another hug.

"Thank you." And then I realized he wasn't talking to me anymore. Emmett was standing just behind me and Jasper was thanking him for bringing me.

Emmett shrugged. "She's hard to ignore when she begs." He sighed and shifted. "You got dinner plans? We thought we might take you out."

"I didn't, but I guess I do now."

Emmett nodded. "Great. Just let me go call Rose. I'm supposed to let her know when we've seen you."

I pulled Jasper back to the bench as Emmett sauntered off and hugged him again once we were sitting. "I've missed you so much, Jazz. I'm so proud of you!"

He continued to grin at me. "I missed you too. God, I can't believe you're here." He pulled me into another hug. "It's so good to see you, Sweetheart." He pulled away, his brow furrowed. "How'd you convince Emmett to bring you?"

I shrugged. "Begging, Uncle Charlie, and a little bit of Rose."

"Rose helped?" he asked incredulously.

"She didn't hurt."

He dropped a kiss on the top of my head and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Maybe you can come visit me some time? I'm going to Alexandria, like I thought."

"Fort Belvoir?" I asked and he nodded. "That'd be cool. This is my first time on the east coast and all I've seen is the airport, a motel, and a base. It'd be cool to see a bit more some time."

"Maybe over the summer?" he sighed and I nodded. "It's a Battleground State, you know. We could go down to Williamsburg and Jamestown… maybe into the District… Alexandria is _really_ close to the District. We could go biking on the Western and Old Dominion Trail. It's one of the longest in the country, it goes all the way out to the Midwest."

"Wow." I breathed.

"It means a lot that you kept writing, you know?"

"Of course I was going to keep writing, are you crazy?" I laughed as he shrugged. "And I'm _still_ gonna keep writing." I added.

"You won't be upset if I can't write as often?" he asked worriedly. "I'm gonna have rotating shifts and stuff."

I shrugged. "You've got more responsibility now. I can't fault you for that." I thought a minute and then dug around in my purse, extracting a black Sharpie marker. "Here, just so you have a reminder of me, even when you can't write, you'll know I'm thinking about you anyhow." I grabbed his left hand and turned it palm up before cuffing the sleeve of his BDU jacket up one roll.

"What are you doing?" he grinned.

"I'm making it so you're stuck with me. You can carry me anywhere." I smirked and wrote _S. A. M._ on the inside of the sleeve. "There. Now you're stuck with me." I sighed, capping the marker.

"Aw, I'd never be _stuck_ with you." He assured me.

"You guys ready?" Emmett asked, rejoining us. We nodded. "Jasper, what's good around here? Any place in particular you'd like to go?"

"Logan's Roadhouse is pretty good." He replied as we started off toward the car.

We rode in silence for the short drive to the restaurant and Emmett left us for a moment to answer a text from Rosalie. As soon as he came back, I excused myself to the restroom to take my pill, giving Emmett a pointed look so that he'd know that's what I was doing.

When I came back, Jasper immediately wrapped an arm around me again. "So how's school? Is Calculus still tripping you up?"

"No, I got a handle on it." I murmured as Emmett tried to disguise his grimace. "I got some after-school tutoring. I've got an _A_ again."

He smiled proudly. "Good." He gently touched a finger to my earlobe. "The earrings are looking good." Emmett scowled at that one, but I grinned sheepishly.

"I'm not digging the hair." I told him honestly, scrubbing my hand over his buzz cut.

"Neither am I." he laughed, giving a little shrug. "But what can I do? They're not too big on long hair."

"It wasn't that long."

"Long enough." He smirked, hugging me to him again.

We talked all through dinner and into the wee hours of the morning. Emmett popped in and out of the conversation, mostly content to text Rose and leave us to our own devices, but he drew the line at 3AM because our flight was at noon.

I hugged Jasper goodbye as he promised me a letter as soon as he arrived at Fort Belvoir and then we dropped him off at the barracks.

"Thank you, Emmett." I murmured as I watched Jasper disappear into the large building he was staying in.

"You're welcome, Sage."


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: The Twilight Universe and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just playing around with them. I own nothing but Sage and the plot.**_

_**Much thanks and love to HammerHips for being the best Schwoogie-Muffin in the world.**_

Outtake 3: Helpless

_**Emmett POV**_

_"Emmett, I think you should come home for a few days… Sage isn't doing so hot."_

"What's wrong with her?" I asked, brow furrowed. The last thing I ever expected Uncle Charlie to say would be that Sage _missed_ me. I knew she'd been relieved when I finally moved back to California and gave her some space. I didn't like being so far away from my kid sister, but Uncle Charlie had thought a change of scenery would be good for me and the distance might help Sage to come out of her shell a bit.

Unfortunately, she'd come out a bit too much for my taste. Sometimes she was downright combative. Anything from a comment on the weather to a question about what was for dinner could turn into an argument at the drop of a hat.

He sighed heavily. _"The school Guidance Counselor phoned… apparently Sage expressed some worrisome thoughts and she recommended Sage see a Therapist."_

"What aren't you telling me?" I asked suspiciously. Seeing a Therapist didn't seem like such a bad thing. Maybe we should've been doing that from the start, given the fact that Dad was in prison and mom had died before I was a teenager.

_"It's bad, Em… she doesn't eat… she sleeps all the time. I should've seen the signs, but with work and her in school most of the day, I didn't really notice and now it's bad. The Therapist says she's depressed."_ I nearly choked on my coffee as he said that. _"It's not Chronic Depression, where she needs medication to balance her out." _He rushed on. _"Clinical… Situational. The Therapist thinks she's overwhelmed with a lot of things and maybe a bit repressed. She's referred her to a Psychiatrist. She sees him tomorrow."_

I stared down at my coffee, not really seeing anything. Sage was in pain… Maybe I shouldn't have left? "How long has this been going on?" I rasped.

There was another heavy sigh. _"A few months… I didn't want to worry you, in case she came out of it on her own, but now they're talking medication…"_

"Medication? Like anti-depressants? I thought you said it wasn't serious enough for that!" I was angry now. My baby sister needed medication, she was sick, and he was keeping it from me?

_"Em, she may need them for a while to get where she needs to be. It's a common therapy these days. Please calm down."_

"Why?" I challenged.

_"Because Sage wants to talk to you and I don't want you upsetting her."_

I softened at that. "Put her on."

There was a shuffling on the other end of the line and then I heard a deep breath. _"Hi, Emmy."_ Sage's timid voice came over the phone.

"Hi, Sagey. What's going on?"

_"I don't know."_ She whispered softly. _"I don't feel anything."_

"What do you mean you don't feel anything, Kid?" I was trying not to lose my patience with her, but she wasn't giving me anything to go on. How could I fix it if she wouldn't tell me what was wrong?

_"I mean I don't feel _anything_."_ She answered, giving the last word a hard edge. _"I feel numb… and dumb… and—"_

"Sage Anne McCarty, you are _not_ dumb!" I growled before I could stop myself.

Sage had always been the most intelligent person I knew. She was precocious as a baby… she was reading chapter books by the time she was four… For her eighth birthday, she asked for a set of encyclopedias because she'd been through the Children's and Young Adults sections of the local library and the librarian wouldn't let her check out anything more advanced without a parent around.

_"I don't feel it."_ She murmured.

"Sage," I sighed. "Tell me how to fix this."

_"I don't know!"_ she sobbed. _"Don't you think if I knew, I'd tell you, Emmett? I can't fix it either if I don't know what's broken."_ She sniffled and there was another shifting and I could tell Charlie had taken the phone back.

_"I told you not to upset her."_ He hissed. _"She's been crying for days and you're not helping her by coming down on her, Emmett."_

"I just asked her what's wrong!" I cried defensively.

_"That's what Therapy is for. She's not going to understand what's wrong with her until she gets some help."_

I sighed. I didn't know how else to respond to that. I'd never felt the way Sage described, so how could I possibly understand? I also wasn't used to feeling so helpless when it came to protecting Sage. When it was a bully or a situation she shouldn't be in, I knew how to react. I was truly flying blind with this.

"Maybe Jasper would help? He knows her better than anyone." I admitted grudgingly. If I was being honest with myself, I was jealous of the fact that Sage had bonded so easily with Jasper and gave him so much of herself.

_"Sage doesn't want him to know."_

I cocked an eyebrow. "Why not?"

_"She just doesn't… I think she's a bit ashamed and more than a little scared… It took me days to convince her to let me tell_ you_, Emmett. I don't think we should push the envelope too far and force her into telling Jasper or telling Jasper behind her back. I think that'd probably do more harm than good."_

I sighed and scrubbed a hand over my face. "Alright… I'll ask Rose not to tell him… but I don't think she'll like the idea of keeping secrets from him." We said goodbye after that and I hung up before putting my face in my hands.

"Babe?" Rose's voice called from the doorway. I looked up and watched her shrug away from the door and close it before coming further into the office. "What's up? What's wrong?"

"Sage has depression." I mumbled. There was a sharp intake of breath and I added a hasty, "We're not supposed to tell Jasper."

"OK."

"OK?" I asked, peering up at her.

Rose shrugged. "It's Sage's business… and moreover, when Jasper finds out, it should be _from_ Sage." She patted my arm. "How is she?"

"I don't know…" I mumbled and blinked several times as I felt the unfamiliar sting of tears. I managed to beat them back before they fell. "She says she feels numb… Rose, I don't know how to fix that."

"Maybe you're not supposed to." She supplied.

"I _always_ fix things for Sage. That's what big brothers are for!" I cried indignantly.

Rose quirked an eyebrow at me and I immediately shrunk away a little. "What I'm _saying_, Emmett, is that maybe this is something Sage has to fix herself?" I growled in frustration and she sighed. "I know that's not how you operate, Babe, but it is what it is and you need to deal with that." I nodded sadly.

"Uncle Charlie suggested I go home for a few days."

"You should."

"What about you?" I asked curiously.

She shrugged. "I think this is a time for family… I don't think Sage would appreciate me being there during such an emotional time." I tried to argue, but she held up a hand. "Emmett, let me finish. _I_ wouldn't want me there if I were Sage… I think she'd appreciate as much privacy as she can get. You know how she is… this throws a big spotlight on her and she's probably gritting her teeth at the very thought of it."

I nodded, my eyes falling to my desk.

How was I supposed to fix this?

It was with that question repeating non-stop that I drove the nearly sixteen hours straight the next day. I left at three AM, hoping that I could go above eighty and make it to Forks before Sage got out of school, but unfortunately construction on I-5 slowed me down.

I pulled in right at six PM and expected Sage to be fixing herself some dinner, but the house was completely dark. Bella's truck wasn't in the driveway and I was left to assume she was at a friend's house.

I made my way in and put my bag down in my old room before crossing the hall and knocking lightly on Bella and Sage's door. When I didn't receive an answer, I opened the door. Sage was curled into a ball under the covers of her bed and I sighed and sat down next to her.

As the bed dipped under my weight, she stirred and turned over to peer at me through the darkness. "Emmett?" she whispered hoarsely.

"Hey, Sagey."

"What are you doing here?"

"Charlie thought I should come home for a few days."

She frowned at that. "Uncle Charlie thought?"

"Yeah." I smoothed her hair back out of her face.

Sage's eyes narrowed at that. "Go away, Emmett."

"What? Why?"

"Because if you don't want to be here, I don't want you here!" she yelled. "Just go away! I'm fine without you!" she yanked her pillow from under her head and smacked me with it. "Go away!"

Sighing, I made my way out of the room and closed the door behind me. As I hit the ground floor, the front door opened and Bella stepped inside.

She smiled. "Hey, Em." I waved and her smile faltered. "Seen Sage?"

"Yeah." I whispered, and I realized too late my voice was a rasp. "I told her Charlie suggested I come home and she yelled at me to get out." I sighed and pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes. "Maybe I'll have better luck in the morning… when we've both had sleep."

"Good luck with that… Sage sleeps all the time now." I frowned at that. "Apparently it's a sign of Depression." She shrugged and moved past me to the staircase. "I won't be here long. I'm staying over at Jessica's…" she turned and gave me a long, hard look. "Em, if you were sick and scared… would you want Sage to rush home to you because she cared, or because someone suggested it?"

My breath caught in my chest at that. "Because I'd hope she cared enough…" I answered.

Bella nodded. "Maybe that's what she wants too… for you to care enough to come without being told."

She made sense, I supposed… but I was kind of hurt that Sage hadn't wanted to clue me in in the first place. Instead of arguing, however, I simply nodded and headed into the kitchen to make myself some dinner and call Rosalie.

_"Hey, Babe."_ She answered on the second ring.

"Hey." I replied, silently cursing that I couldn't seem to get the choked-up feeling out of my throat. "How was your day?"

_"Same old, same old… What's wrong? Are you getting sick?"_

"I'm fine." I put the finishing touches on my sandwich and sat down at the table, but I simply stared at my plate.

_"Em? Baby, what's wrong?"_ she sounded so concerned.

"You know me, Rosie… I messed up again." I sighed, rubbing my eyes.

_"Oh, no… what happened?"_

"I told her Charlie suggested I come home… and I guess now she thinks I didn't care enough to have come on my own…" I pushed my plate away.

Rosalie sighed. _"I spoke to Jasper today. I didn't tell him anything, but he said Sage has been writing about how much you don't care… I think you missing her competition last month might've hurt more than she let on…"_

Oh come on! Yes, I understood that Sage's riding was important to her, but it wasn't my thing… And I'd come up for her Soccer Championship the previous Spring… I did my best, but San Francisco was a long way away. As much as I'd like, as much as I missed Sage, I couldn't come visit at the drop of a hat every time she was competing.

"Maybe…" I answered. "Listen, Babe, I'll call you a bit later on to say goodnight, OK?"

_"Sure. I love you."_

"You, too." I hung up and continued to stare at my plate.

I honestly didn't think I was _that_ bad of a brother. I mean, yeah, I messed up some… maybe I chased off a guy or two that might've been good ones, but most of them were assholes who only had it in their heads to go Cherry Picking… And yeah, maybe I was a bit stubborn on some subjects that weren't really worth fighting over, but I didn't think I did too bad of a job. I called Sage twice a week; I followed the Forks Trojans Soccer Team, the Track and Cross-Country Teams… Sometimes I went out to the Berryman Stables with her and watched her during her lessons…

That was good right?

Big brothers did that?

It was supportive.

"Hey, Em. How was the drive?"

My head snapped up as Uncle Charlie greeted me. I hadn't even heard him come in. "Long. How was work?"

"Long." He echoed. "Sage come down?"

I shook my head. "No… I think I might've screwed things up right off the bat. Told her you told me I should come up."

He grimaced. "Yeah, she's really sensitive to that stuff right now… Can't be too fun for her either. The other day, I told her I'd take her to Therapy because the Guidance Counselor thought it was a good idea… to her that meant I wasn't actually interested." He shook his head. "Kid's having a rough time, you know?"

I nodded. "I guess I'll try to take point more… maybe I should move home? Could try to get a job at Dowling's, or maybe Port Angeles?"

"Emmett, no!" Charlie cried, pulling a can of soup out of the cabinet and dumping the gelatinous goo into a small pot. He added water and then tossed the can. "She needs stability… shaking up her routine now… she'd feel like you were judging her." He rolled his eyes. "Please, just… visit… maybe reassure her a little…" he sighed and started the burner and gave the soup a quick stir. "You know… be her big brother."

"I'm not exactly sure that's what she wants from me." I replied, confused as I watched him stir the soup. "Uncle C, you're allergic to mushrooms… why the hell are you heating up Golden Mushroom soup?"

He shrugged. "It's about the only thing Sage eats these days. You gotten a look at her?"

"Just what I saw over her quilt, why?"

Charlie shook his head. "She's dropped a lot of weight… you know, she used to protein-load before games and meets… wouldn't allow herself any sugar…" he grimaced as he turned off the stove and poured the soup into a bowl. "I can't even get her to eat a piece of bacon or a chicken cutlet… but she doesn't want junk either… she just isn't hungry… literally." He sighed again. "I'll be back. It'll take me about ten minutes to coax her into eating." And with that, he disappeared up the stairs.

Ten minutes? TEN MINUTES?

The Sage I knew could scarf down a plate of eggs and bacon faster than it took Mike Newton to say something stupid… put a steak in front of her and you'd be lucky not to get your hand gnawed on… What world was I in that Sage wasn't hungry?

The answer to that question was simple: I was in my world, it just wasn't my Sage anymore.

My kid sister was the hyperactive kid who was always friendly, but years of being the "weird" kid in school had made her shy. When I was younger, I had unfortunately helped with that, always calling her strange… but she was smart… and she managed to find fault in it because everyone else did.

Instead of doing what other kids did and playing dumb, Sage had simply retreated into herself. It got so bad, I'd had to begin stepping in when kids tries to bully her because she'd simply stand there and take it.

When we met Jasper and Rosalie, I was immediately on guard. Sage was so enamored of him because he paid attention to her, and years of dealing with little assholes had conditioned me that any _male_ was a threat to Sage… it was only made worse that he was actually nice to her. It made me wonder what his intentions were.

Then I realized they'd become _friends_. It was so strange to me, but with Jasper over two thousand miles away, I let her have that one. Jasper couldn't do much to hurt her from that distance… until their mom died. Sage was so worried all the time.

That thought made me pause. Sage was _always_ worried about Jasper… Was that what caused this? Had her worry somehow morphed into her depression? It was possible, I supposed… but I didn't have any psychological expertise…

Maybe I could ask her Therapist at some point?

If she'd let me…

I seriously doubted Sage would let me.

Still… her worry over Jasper had been understandable. He was her only friend, really… but I hadn't realized until she'd begun agonizing over him that he owned her. She'd always loved him on some level because of his patience with her, his devotion to their friendship, his way of always being there for her… but I'd never seen her gut-wrench over _anyone_ the way she did over him.

Jasper was the one who could truly ruin Sage… without even trying, he could decimate all. I wondered if he knew that, and if he did, was he being cautious with my baby sister's feelings?

I slept fitfully through the night and was up at dawn when Charlie left for work again. As soon as he was out the door, I showered and dressed, pulling on my hiking boots, before going in to wake Sage up.

She ignored me and groaned, pulling the pillow over her head to block out the dull rays of early morning light.

Sighing, I stood and went to the end of her twin bed. I lifted the corner closest to the wall enough to get a good grip on that side and then shoved the mattress vertical. Sage shrieked and a large _thud_ let me know she'd hit the hardwood.

"Get up, Sage. We're going for a hike."

She glared at me. "Go away."

"Not gonna happen. You and I are gonna go for a hike and we are gonna talk. You may not want to listen, but you're damn sure gonna. Get. Dressed."

A half-hour later, she'd showered and changed into a pair of jeans and a black hoodie I recognized as the one she'd stolen from Jasper while we were in Galveston. She was wearing her hiking boots, and though her hair was still wet from the shower, she'd braided it into pigtails, which only served to remind me of the kid I still saw in my Mind's Eye when I thought about her.

Eerily enough, she still looked so much like our mother. Right down to the haunted look in her eyes. Mom hadn't adopted that look until she was terminal, but it was a look I remembered well. It was a look I always associated with hospitals and death… a look that, for a moment, made me flashback to my eleven year-old self holding in my grief while I tried to explain to Sage that Mommy wasn't coming home anymore… that she had gone away, but it was OK… because she wasn't sick anymore.

I hadn't known how to explain death to a six year-old. It was years before Sage asked me to clarify, and then? I'd been so fucking blindsided, I'd compared it to when her kindergarten class' gerbil had died.

_Fucking smooth…_

I put a plate of eggs in front of her and she stared at it for a moment.

"I'm not hungry."

"Eat."

"I'm not hungry." The tone was dull and listless. Normally, if Sage had to repeat herself, the volume went up and the tone took a hard edge.

"Eat." I repeated. "I'm not asking. I'm telling you. Eat."

"Or what?" she challenged, rolling her eyes. "You gonna sit on my chest and shove them down my throat?"

I was so angry, I didn't think, but simply grabbed the hem of the hoodie and yanked it up to expose her ribs, though I stopped before it reached an embarrassing area. Unfortunately, she'd been so off-guard, she wasn't prepared and I ended up jerking her out of the chair and she was standing askance, bent sideways at an odd angle to accommodate the direction the shirt was being pulled while still trying to preserve her modesty.

Charlie was right: she'd dropped a ton of weight. Sage wasn't big to begin with. She'd always been small… she was only four pounds, twelve ounces at birth—at two weeks late—though she was perfectly healthy. But this… I could see each rib. It certainly wasn't healthy, and I knew in the right mindset, Sage would be grossed out to see herself.

Under the harsh fluorescents of the kitchen, I also noted her pallor had changed to a waxy white, instead of the usual peaches and cream we shared… her eyes were sunken in and had this permanent glassy look to them.

Was she high?

No.

I doubted very much that my fourteen year-old sister knew how to get her hands on any drugs, and even then… I knew she was too chicken to use them.

Still…

I sighed and released her shirt. She sat back down immediately. "Eat." I whispered hoarsely. "Don't make me say it again."

She ate silently, chewing slowly as though she could wait me out… like she figured I'd get impatient and take the plate away, but I waited and watched her like a hawk. After several minutes of tense silence, she put her fork down and went to rinse her plate.

When she turned back to me, a blank mask had slid into place and she simply blinked at me. I nodded toward the door and she followed me out to the Jeep.

There were a lot of great hiking areas I could've chosen, but we weren't geared for them and I wasn't sure if Sage had the strength to deal with something too long, so I drove us down to La Push and parked in front of the store.

From there, we trekked through the woods and up to the cliffs I knew a lot of the Quileutes used for cliff-diving. I'd never jumped off the cliffs, and I never intended to. Sage was scared of heights, so I didn't have a worry of her ever being that stupid or reckless… but that wasn't the point of our hike anyhow.

When we stopped at the edge of the highest cliff, she sat down and threw her legs over the edge, simultaneously flipping her hood over her hair so that all I could see were her two braids poking out of either side.

I sighed. "I'm sorry that I made you feel as though I wouldn't have come if Charlie hadn't told me to. I wanted to come, and would have regardless." She made no indication she'd even heard me. "Sage, I want to help, I want to fix this, and I don't know how." Still no response. "Is this because of Jasper?"

At that, her head whipped around so fast her hood fell off and the murderous look she gave me nearly made me cower. "Jasper hasn't done anything to me." She all but snarled.

I held up my hands in a gesture of calm and said, "I'm just wondering because you've been very worried about him. I know he's taken Amelia's death really hard… he doesn't like to talk about it with Rosalie, but I'm sure he writes to you about it. I just wanted to make sure you haven't been bottling up his feelings."

Sage turned to look out at the ocean again. "I don't have any emotions to bottle." She answered quietly.

"Of course you do." I pressed.

She shook her head, braids swinging. "I feel dead inside… like a part of me is rotting away and infecting and killing the rest of me in the process. _That_ is what I _feel_. Can you help with _that_, Emmett?" she asked, her voice hard.

I took a deep breath. "No. I don't suppose I can."

"Then don't feed me some bullshit about taking it like a champ, rolling with the punches, and being the End-All, Be-All to myself. I don't need to hear it and it's bull anyhow."

I winced at that. Those were my phrases, used during my lame attempts at pep talks when she'd been bullied as a scared fifth grader… the year she'd come home beaten and bloody… the year I'd had to start shadowing her everywhere… making sure no one messed with her, threatening kids behind her back…

I should've taught her to speak for herself. I should've shown her she had a voice.

Jasper had done that.

And part of me really resented him for it.

Stupid, I know… but how was I supposed to feel? When I tried to take care of her like a brother should, she hated me for it. When he did it, she loved him and clung to him even more.

But Jasper wasn't the issue. Sage was.

Sighing, I kicked a rock over the edge. "I used to come up here to think… you know, after we moved up here… sometimes it was just easier, with the wide-open spaces, the vast expanse… put everything into perspective. I'm not saying you have to come up here, or even that we have to stay here now… I wanted to bring you up here to show you that there are places to find sanctuary when you need to think. Maybe this place'll help you gain some perspective when you feel you're lacking." She quirked an eyebrow, but didn't look at me. "Sage, I want you healthy… I _need_ you healthy. You're my baby sister, you're my only family, and I _refuse_ to let you be ill in any fashion."

She snorted at that. "I'll make a note of that."

"Just work on it… please? Work with the Therapists and the Shrink and take the medicine… swallow the Kool-Aid, whatever… you know? Make yourself better."

"I'll make a note of that too." She pretended to scribble on a pad of paper. "Heal Thyself." She finally set her eyes on me again. "We done? I'm tired."

I nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, we're done."

What else was I supposed to say to that? I wanted to help, but it seemed every move I made only worsened the situation. Part of my brain suggested staying away, but I wasn't about to let Sage believe I'd abandoned her, and I couldn't, even if I wanted to. She was my family. I had to take care of her.

I just hated feeling so helpless.

_**End Note: Leave me some love. You know I love to get reviews **___


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: The Twilight Universe and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**_

_**HammerHips is the Schwoogie-Muffin. I love her to bits.**_

_**This is an outtake from my story "Control".**_

Outtake 4: Worry

_**Rosalie POV**_

Emmett's head was never in the right place these days.

Don't get me wrong. His heart was _always_ in the right place. When it came to Sage, however, the overwhelming desire to protect his sister seemed to short-circuit his brain to the point of sheer stupidity.

Sage was stronger than he gave her credit for.

Sage was smarter than any of us knew.

She had a real future. Emmett wanted her to be some big-shot lawyer and make something of herself because he hadn't wanted to go to college and he knew she deserved more than he could ever give her.

We all knew this. Living with Sage was almost like constantly living with a Saint who had no idea she was better than the rest of us.

She had her own problems and I know Emmett was responsible for many of them… I knew I didn't help things much, but I didn't think I could fight her battles for her. I'd known her long enough to know that when something meant enough to her, she fought for it. Hard. She wouldn't let go.

I also knew that on some unconscious level, she partly blamed me because it always seemed Emmett chose me over her. She'd never know…

I hadn't wanted Sage to live with us in the first place. Emmett and I were comfortable in our tiny little apartment. We were happy. I'd fought tooth and nail, argued and screamed and pitched fits that would make a toddler proud.

It hadn't done any good, and in the end, I'd nearly lost Emmett. He'd told me in no uncertain terms that he and Sage were a package deal and that if I didn't like it, I could pound sand.

He wanted Sage to have a stable home life and a stable relationship with him and that Doctor Caius had said that more than anything, Sage needed stability. I didn't think we could actually _provide_ that stability for her. Emmett saw it differently.

In the end, I did the only thing I could think to make the transition easier. I convinced Jasper to move in with us. I knew that _he_ would provide the stability Sage needed.

I may be blond, but I'm certainly not _dumb_. My brother's been in love with Sage for years, even if he was too stupid to see it then.

I both hated and loved Jasper, and there were times I wasn't sure which one was winning out. He'd taken the belt for me. How could I hate him for that? But I did. I hated him because every time I looked at him, even when he was in long-sleeves, I saw those gashes seeping blood and our mother cleaning them as best she could while telling him that he shouldn't have gotten involved and that he shouldn't have made David mad.

I loved him for it too, because he'd taken that pain and anguish for me. He'd protected me like I'd never protected him.

When Mom died, a big part of me had wanted to get him out of that house and away from David. I owed it to him. He needed to be away from David.

But I'm selfish sometimes and the scared part of me that was afraid I'd always look at Jasper and see those seeping gashes couldn't bring myself to do it.

I bit the bullet when it came to Sage. She needed him and he needed her. They were good for each other. Emmett was jealous of their bond and all three of them seemed oblivious to what that bond was.

But I knew.

I'd always known.

And one day, hopefully sooner as opposed to later, they'd all see it.

Still, Emmett is nothing if not bull-headed. But I love the guy. I always have, always will. I want the white picket fence and the two point five kids and all that with him.

But I also want what's best for _him_… and what's best for Emmett is a healthy Sage. I just went about it differently.

I made one mistake with Sage and it cost me any small amount of trust she might've had in me. I'd made the mistake of saying _"no questions asked"_ only to turn around and tell Emmett. _That_ was one of the biggest mistakes I've _ever_ made. I cried myself to sleep that night because I felt horrible.

I'd resolved after that to help Sage in any way I could. Mostly, it was little things. Like her Prom dress… Sage had taken one look at that gown and her eyes just lit up. I knew Emmett would hate it. He wanted her covered. He'd have been happiest if she'd worn a nun's habit, but _Sage_ was happiest to look like a princess and _that_ was more important to me.

Then, when Jasper told me he'd gotten into Berkley, I knew we needed him in the house with us if Sage had a prayer of having any sense of normalcy and happiness.

And I was right.

They fell together like two pieces of the same puzzle and it was amazing to watch. She talked, she laughed, she didn't mouse away so much. I wasn't actually sure for a while if it was the same Sage, there was _that_ much of a difference.

It unsettled Emmett.

And I could understand that, really I could… but most of the time he was too busy trying to protect her from things like heartache and men and pain that he failed to realize that she _needed_ to be cut loose every now and again.

That's why I suggested going out to Half Moon Bay. I wanted to give Sage some time out from under Emmett's thumb and maybe give both her and Jasper a chance to figure their feelings for each other out.

So far, I'd discovered that my brother and his best friend were complete and utter _MORONS_!

I wasn't even sure which one was the _bigger_ moron! Possibly Jasper. He started dating Maria and I couldn't even bring myself to be supportive of _that_ crapstorm. She was defensive and evasive and abrasive… Horrible!

She looked at Sage as though she were an enemy to be analyzed and destroyed… and poor Sage! She sat there and _took_ _it_ because Sage doesn't know how to make herself happy, but she'll be damned if she doesn't try to make _everyone else_ happy.

_Fuck. My. Life._

_This is going to take a while._

Honestly, the best thing that could've happened was Maria wandering into Sage's room to snoop. I know how Sage is about her space… believe me. Been there, witnessed that apocalypse.

Emmett had been worried that if it came down to a choice, Jasper would choose Maria or some other flavor of the month, but I knew Jasper. I saw the way he looked at Sage… like she hung the moon.

Of course, Emmett saw the way he looked at Sage too… he just took it as another threat to his precious baby sister. Any time I tried to point out that Sage was, in fact, no longer a baby, the angrier and more defensive he got…

But I was so _proud_ of Jasper when he threw that Mexican whore out on her ass for attacking Sage. I even helped him find a jeweler to fix the chain… I knew Sage must've been devastated over it. I was there when she got the letter that had the chain and dog tags in it. You'd have thought Jasper had offered her a million dollars.

Her face had lit up, her cheeks had gone red, her eyes were shining… and she cried… for the first time in a long time, she was crying because she was happy and flattered instead of because she was sad and depressed. It was the first real emotion I'd actually seen her exhibit since before she'd been diagnosed.

Emmett had been horrified by the whole damn thing, thinking it meant something more than it did at the time. He grilled Sage mercilessly about her relationship with Jasper and Sage had repeatedly denied anything more than friendship. She wasn't lying at the time, she was too young to realize what was between them, but I still knew that deep down, those tags were a subconscious way for Jasper to mark her as his. She wore them religiously. She _wanted_ to be his.

And now, with Maria out of the picture, maybe Jasper and Sage would finally start to figure things out. I knew she was at least feeling jealous because of the amount of time she spent avoiding him and trying not to get in the way. And as soon as he tossed Maria out? They were back to being two peas in a pod.

_Only a matter of time…_

I shuffled my paperwork and rolled my chair over to the filing cabinet just as Emmett walked in carrying his cell phone. The familiar tune of "Little Sister" by Rick Nielsen was blasting from the speaker.

"_Well I've been around here for way too long, it's really time to go, but there's reasons for my madness, though it doesn't show…"_

We always had to talk on the phone in the back office. The noise in the garage, the air guns, the clanking of tools was always too loud to be able to hear correctly.

He closed the door and hit _Speaker_. "Sage? Why aren't you in class?" he asked as calmly as he could. He didn't approve of Sage skipping class.

"_E-E-Emmett? This is Heidi… from Sage's-S-S-Sage's s-s-study group."_ She was stuttering so badly I almost didn't understand anything she'd said aside from her name.

Emmett's brow furrowed in confusion. "Heidi? Why are you calling? Where's Sage? What's wrong?" the worry was evident. Heidi didn't have any reason to call Emmett.

The voice on the phone sobbed and then she wailed, _"S-S-Sage was a-a-a-a-a-attacked!"_ there was another strangled sob and then we heard a male voice yelling in the background.

"_Sage? Come on, Baby, wake up! Please! Please? Come on, Baby, don't do this!"_

And then another male voice.

"_Sir, we need you to step back, please."_

"What the hell happened?" Emmett roared and Heidi sobbed again.

"_She… she got attacked! W-W-We had to call an ambulance! It's so bad! There's s-so m-much bl-blood on her face a-and she's p-passed out!"_

"What hospital?" he ground out.

The panic was rising in us both. It was getting hard for me to breathe and I could only manage short gasps of air… I could only imagine how high-strung Emmett was feeling.

"_M-M-Mercy… the ER's off Devon Avenue."_

"We'll be there soon, Heidi. Please, please, _please_ don't leave her alone. Someone ride with her, please!" Emmett whispered hoarsely.

"_D-Demetri's going w-with her!"_

"OK. We'll see you soon." He hung up the phone and I was already out of my seat and grabbing my purse. "We have to move. Quick."

I nodded and yanked the office door open. "Go start the car. I'll tell Leroy."

Emmett disappeared out the Staff door and I headed into the garage to find my fat, balding boss. "Leroy!" I yelled, waving to get his attention. "We have to go to the hospital. Emmett's sister's been attacked!"

Leroy nodded and waved me off. "Go take care of business, Rosie-Posey."

_I fucking hate when he calls me that._

Instead of correcting him like I normally did, I hauled ass out the exit and climbed into the Jeep.

Emmett took off like a shot, speeding at least twenty over the whole way while I tried to soothe him.

"It'll be OK." I murmured, trying to convince us both at the same time. "She's strong. Maybe it's not that bad. She'll be fine."

"Rose, please be quiet." He replied through gritted teeth. He didn't want me to make him feel better… He wanted to be panicked and pumped with adrenaline. He _needed_ that right now, and I knew why.

If Emmett was amped up, he wouldn't care that he was in a hospital. He _hated_ hospitals ever since mother died. He'd spent too much time at the hospital while she was dying and he just didn't deal well with them. He'd once waited a week to seek treatment after dislocating a finger.

_Idiot._

Still… I understood his compulsion to avoid hospitals whenever possible… but I thought that maybe for Sage?

_Obviously not._

We pulled in just as two ambulances pulled into the ambulance bay and we were out of the car and trailing the paramedics as they unloaded Sage. They'd already started a line in her arm and one was pumping air into her through a mask covering her nose and mouth.

"Eighteen year-old female attacked in a parking garage. Witnesses say she hit her head on a concrete pylon. Multiple abrasions, head lacerations, and contusions covering her chest, abdomen, and face." The lead paramedic informed the doctor that was waiting in the doorway. "Possible internal bleeding and concussion. Passed out in the field."

"How long's she been down?" the doctor yelled over his shoulder.

"Twenty minutes."

"Is she OK?" Emmett cried. "Please, is she OK? Will she be OK?"

"Are you family?"

"I'm her brother!"

"We'll know more once we check her. Sir, I need you to find a nurse and fill out some paperwork. We need to get a chart started and get everything logged."

"Can't I—"

"I'll stay with her." A shaken voice startled us and we turned to find Demetri standing behind us, pale and haggard looking with blood on his otherwise spotless white shirt. "I'll stay with her… she won't be alone, Emmett, I promise."

Emmett nodded resignedly and I followed him to go get the paperwork. We sat in the crappy plastic chairs and I watched him scribble Sage's name and birth date and begin listing off their family history. When he got to the box marked _Allergies_, he paused.

"I can't remember the type of drugs she's allergic to." He whispered. "She's allergic to something and… and…" his face crumpled. "I can't remember the name of the drugs!" a tear slid down his cheek and dropped onto the paperwork, smudging the ink slightly. "What's it called, Rosie? The ones… remember, she had that virus affecting her hip joint when she was eleven… remember? They gave her some prescription and it gave her a rash and then she went into anaphylactic shock."

"Sulfonomides." I whispered. "Just put _sulfa_, Em. It's OK. It's gonna be OK."

"It's not gonna be OK!" he whispered hoarsely. "Did you see her? Did you see her face? And they were helping her breathe! What am I gonna do if—"

"Stop, Emmett." I snapped. "Stop it. She'll be fine. Sage is strong. She's going to be fine."

This time, I wasn't sure how much I believed what I was saying at all. I'd never seen someone so banged up… and I'd seen and experienced a _lot_ in the Beaten All To Hell department.

"You should… you should call Jasper." Emmett murmured as he continued on through the intake forms. "He'll want to be here."

"Yeah." I sighed. "Yeah… I should."

I pulled out my phone and stood, retreating to a vacant corner of the waiting room just as two uniformed police officers sat down across from the Study Group kids. I'd pulled up Jasper's number just as a sob bubbled up in my throat and I didn't think I could speak, so I sent a text instead.

A moment later, my phone buzzed and Jasper's face flashed across the screen.

"Jasper…" I whispered shakily.

The conversation was short. He'd be here shortly.

For the first time in I don't know how long, I prayed. I prayed for Sage to hang on. I prayed for Jasper to make it in time. If something went wrong… if something happened and Sage didn't pull through, Jasper would never forgive himself for not getting here in time. I prayed for Emmett, because he needed Sage's brand of strength right now. I prayed for whatever son of a bitch did this, because if I ever caught up with them, there wouldn't be a body left to find. Anyone who'd attack my family deserved to die.

_Wow…_

_I don't think I've ever actually thought of Sage as my family before…_

_But she is._

_She really is._

Jasper appeared, frantic and gesturing wildly as he tried to get information out of me, but I didn't have the answers and I'd never felt as helpless as I did in that moment. Jasper was used to fixing Sage's problems, being the one to make the pain go away and I didn't have any answers for him.

Instead, he took to questioning the kids. The girls were sobbing, the boys were doing their best to comfort them, and Jasper was firing off questions and listening intently, quaking with anger and anguish all the while.

Something Heidi said made him start and he shot up out of his seat and retreated to the corner of the room I'd vacated earlier, sliding down the wall.

I watched him the entire time… watched his eyes slide out of focus as he slowly rocked himself and tapped his neck and I _knew_ he was trying to keep calm…

But I also knew he was realizing something big.

Things were going to get very, very bad.

And I wasn't sure we'd ever be able to recover.

_**End Note: So… What do ya'll think?**_


End file.
